Lizz Mears

  Artist ♥  Mum ♥ Free Thinker ♥ Weirdo      So you wanna know who I am? ♥   I’m 37 years old! I live on the beautiful South Coast of England, in Poole, Dorset. ♥   I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder at the age of 11. ♥   I spent the next 3 years seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist every single week. ♥   At the age of 14~ Whilst at my Aunts house, my Mum explains to me that she is taking me to a special children’s hospital for mental health treatment. I remember screaming at her that she didn’t want me, I was awful, I may as well die as my mum didn’t even want me around.  I clearly see myself running and launching myself onto my cousin’s bed and burying my head in the pillows, feeling so empty and distraught. ♥   And so begins my first ‘In-Patient’ stay at a young person’s psychiatric hospital. ♥    I’ve tried to kill myself 5 times since the age...

Oh how my life has changed since my last post! Firstly I cant believe how long it has been since my last blog.....over a month! That really speaks volumes about the changes that have been afoot in my life. In this past month I have started having Hypnotherapy, Ive been continuing with my psychology (which is nearly over) and we have gained a family member in the form of a pony! Yes a PONY!! Introducing Mouse ! ******************************************************************************************************** Psychology~ This time around has finally been focusing on the stuff behind my OCD and Depression.  The reasons why I am obsessive rather than just treating the OCD alone. I am truly finding it beneficial, I have waited years for a therapist to ask me the questions I have been asked and to invite me to look at things from a different perspective. I am learning the cycles of behaviour in my family both good and bad. The reasons we all react in the way we do ...

This week I've realised that I am NOT OK.... Im not ok, Im not ok, Im not ok, Im not ok, Im not ok, Im not ok, Im not ok. I may look ok to the outside world but I'm not ok. I may look like I've got my shit together, but, I'm not ok. I may have a wonderful Art business & just launched my new colouring pages, but, I'm not ok. I've got a wonderful fiance and two beautiful children, all of them I love more than myself. Im not ok. I've got a lovely home, living in a great area, opposite from my best friend,but, I'm not ok. It's ok to not be ok. It doesnt mean Im not entirely grateful for all of the great things and people in my life. The people in my life are wonderful, amazing and make me happy to be alive. They are the ones who help me get up each day, they give me strength to push forward when I'm not ok. I'm still not ok though, OK? I'm still fighting a long battle in my head. I fight with myself about whether I c...